Intimacy in Marriage

In his essay, Fulfilling the Sexual Stewardship in Marriage, Sean E. Brotherson describes the two most common dialogues on sexual matters. One, is the “incessant chatter and noise of the world” in which there is constant sensationalism and “distorted images of sensuality”. And the other, consists of concerns and warnings aimed to “steer us away from pornography, sexual exploitation, and immorality”.

While we need to be guarded against the immoralities of our day, we also need to develop a healthy attitude about sexuality, especially within the bounds of marriage.

Dr. Brotherson states that there is a “third part of the dialogue” that is “seldom heard or discussed” – it is about “the sanctity, power and emotional depth of proper sexual intimacy”.

Sexual intimacy in marriage is not only natural and good, but necessary for a mutually satisfying relationship between husband and wife. Because ignorance on this topic is prevalent, it is imperative that couples endeavor to understand its importance.

For couples who are engaged, newlywed, or struggling with intimacy in their marriage, it would be beneficial for them to seek learning and understanding, of what can sometimes be a complex issue.

“I am convinced that ignorance is perhaps the most costly deficiency when it comes to sexual fulfillment between marital partners,” states Brotherson. There should be no shame or embarrassment about an earnest effort to understand sexual intimacy. However, individuals need to be cautious about where they obtain information on this topic. Couples should seek learning from reliable sources that adhere to their standards and belief system.

Between married couples, the topic of sexual intimacy may not be comfortable initially, but as couples communicate about it they will develop more ease. Communication on this topic should not be vague and both spouses need to listen carefully to one another. Never ridicule. Be patient.

“Sex is for procreation and expression of love. It is the destiny of men and women to join to make eternal family units. In the context of lawful marriage, the intimacy of sexual relations is right and divinely approved. There is nothing unholy or degrading about sexuality in itself, for by that means men and women join in the process of creation and in an expression of love” (President Spencer W. Kimball, Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, ed. Edward L. Kimball, 1982).

As President Kimball states, “there is nothing unholy or degrading about sexuality in itself”.  It is the way that sexual intimacy is misused, and frequently depicted in the world, that demeans it.

“When we see sexuality as a vital part of marital harmony and happiness, it becomes more than something we simply give or receive … It is something a husband and wife can share. It might be called a sexual guardianship” (Brent A. Barlow, They Twain Shall Be One: Thoughts on Intimacy in Marriage, Ensign, Sept. 1986).

https://www.lds.org/ensign/1986/09/they-twain-shall-be-one-thoughts-on-intimacy-in-marriage?lang=eng