Marriage is a Covenant:

Marriage has traditionally been viewed as a covenant – a solemn agreement between a man, a woman, and God. While there are certainly those who don’t believe in God and still get married, they still subscribe to the idea of a covenant, as opposed to a simple agreement.

“Even secular marriage was historically a three-party covenant among a man, a woman, and the state,” said Bruce C. Hafen, author of Covenant Hearts: Marriage and the Joy of Human Love, namely because society has a great interest in the outcome of the marriage, as well as the children that may come from it. Hafen continues, “the public nature of marriage distinguishes it from all other relationships. Guests come to weddings because, as Wendell Berry said, sweethearts 'say their vows to the community as much as to one another,' giving themselves not only to each other, but also to the common good “as no contract could ever join them.”

Elder David E. Bednar shared two doctrines that help us understand why the covenant in marriage is so important, in his address, “Marrriage is Essential to His Eternal Plan”, June 2006.

#1 – The natures of male and female spirits complete and perfect each other, and therefore men and women are intended to progress together toward exaltation. "For divine purposes, male and female spirits are different, distinctive, and complementary, and alone neither the man nor the woman could fulfill the purposes of his or her creation."

#2 - By divine design, both a man and a woman are needed to bring children into mortality and to provide the best setting for the rearing and nurturing of children. "Just as the unique characteristics of both males and females contribute to the completeness of a marriage relationship, so those same characteristics are vital to the rearing, nurturing, and teaching of children. Complete sexual abstinence before marriage and total fidelity within marriage protect the sanctity of this sacred channel".

Of course, marriage is not always easy nor is it always sublime. The reality is that marriage can be difficult, and people struggle with adverse situations where divorce becomes necessary. However, for the most part, marriage and family relationships are about sacrifice – the sacrifice of time and effort, pride and selfish motivations.  

“Surely,” Elder Hafen said, “marriage partners must respect one another’s individual identity, and family members are neither slaves nor inanimate objects,” however, “when we observe the covenants we make at the altar of sacrifice, we discover hidden reservoirs of strength” (Hafen).

More and more, marriage is being viewed as an end destination for a couple who have experienced independence and achieved goals apart from one another. In the words of Andrew Cherlin, author of “The Marriage-Go-Round, “…marriage used to be the foundation of adult family life, now it is often the capstone” (Cherlin, pg. 139).  Once again, while it is good to have a sense of independence and security, such things as, buying a home, a car, and establishing careers, draws couples together through mutual support and shared experiences of reaching goals together.

Working together for the happiness and betterment of each other brings spiritual blessings as well. Indeed, as Bruce C. Hafen said, “marrying and raising children yield the most valuable religious experiences or [our] lives”.